The Grind

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To grind is to reduce something to small particles or powder by crushing it. Think of all the things in your life that grinding is a part of. You grind coffee beans so that you can make your life giving morning brew. You grind peppercorns or sea salt crystals to season food. You grind herbs and spices to mix in with cooking. In the manufacturing world, grinding refers to grinding down imperfections. Hiding the impurities that are created during the fabrication process. Removing spurs and smoothing edges. In pretty much every context, grinding is the process of reducing something to powder, crushing it down so that it can be consumed and/or discarded. Yet, when we apply the term “grind” to our lives, it’s this badge of honor that we wear to symbolize how much we suffer for monetary gain. Grinding in our personal lives is no different than grinding coffee beans. We run ourselves ragged, break ourselves down, in pursuit of something, and then turn around and brag about how we are able to grind.

Bragging about the ability to grind simply allows us to play the martyr. “Look at me and how much I’m willing to suffer, how much I’m willing to give, how much of myself I’m willing to sacrifice.” We’ve glorified grind culture. This idea that it’s not only acceptable, but encouraged to ignore every other part of your life except for work. 80 hour work weeks. Sleeping at the office. Starting before the sun comes up, stopping long after the sun’s set. No days off. No breaks. No vacations. No time for fun or family or friends. All there is, is the grind. And the next thing you know, you’ve done to yourself exactly what you do to those coffee beans each morning. You’ve ground yourself down into powder only to be used and discarded.

It’s not only a work thing either, falling into the grinding trap can happen in every other area of our life if we’re not careful. There was a period of my life where I became so consumed with fitness that I pushed every other thing in my life away. Friendships were non-existent. My marriage fell apart. My performance at work suffered to the point where I was let go from two jobs. I was so consumed with working out to look, more importantly to not look, a certain way, that I ended up doing far more harm than I did good. It was a grind, literally, every day. Wake up, run 8-10 miles. Eat some egg whites and spinach, drink a protein shake. Go to the gym and beat myself up for another 60-90 minutes. Go home and eat a handful almonds. Eventually have a small dinner of chicken and veggies because if I ate more than 1800 calories I’d get fat and nobody would love me.

I wore it all as a badge of honor though. “Look at me and my ability to grind. My ability to be disciplined and run and lift and eat right.” I wasn’t making the big leaps of progress that I was hoping for, but that was okay. I grew up in an era of video games where you had to “grind” for the increasingly smaller increases in experience. Toiling away for hours to level up your character to take on the next boss was second nature, I didn’t question it. I was so consumed with the grind of it all, so blinded by my own lies that I was doing what I was supposed to, that I didn’t see how much hurt I was really causing. Not just hurting myself, but hurting those that loved me and depended on me.

It’s one thing to be all-in on something. To have a singular focus and dedication towards achieving a goal and being so narrow minded towards that one goal, that all the other one’s fade from view. It ends up harming you in the long run. You’ve still got to make sure you’re giving some attention to the other areas of your life. Whether it’s becoming so consumed with fitness that you end up broken, riddled with injuries and wrecked hormones. Or toiling away at work from sun-up to sun-down and you forget what your family looks and sounds like. Or neglecting yourself and your friends and your job all because your self-worth and identity is so intricately intertwined with your romantic relationship. Or it’s some other thing that has you blinded to the world around you, before you realize it, you’ve ground yourself down into something unrecognizable.

Last week I wrote about harmony. (If you missed it you can check it out here.) Harmony is the light to the grind’s dark. Harmony is embracing that passion and desire for good. Using it to fuel your progress while still taking the necessary steps to ensure you’re not neglecting the other areas of your life. Harmony takes the grind and strips away the self-hatred and selfishness, replacing it with self-love and impeccable communication with those around you. Having the discipline to work hard and suffer for your goals is admirable, don’t misunderstand. Letting it go to the extremes that grind culture preaches is detrimental. If you want to end up dust, broken into tiny pieces only to be consumed and discarded, grind away. But if you want to thrive, stop grinding and start living.