Show Some Passion

“You ain’t shit, Evan, and you ain’t never gonna be shit until you show some passion for something. Y’all got to love something. Y’all got to hate something. Y’all got to want something. Pissing on other people’s passion ’cause you trying to be cool just make you a coward—a little bitch.”

Yellow, Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore

“Who are you? Tell me about yourself.” It’s a simple, innocuous introductory question and statement. The two most common responses are either to state a job title and company or start listing off all the things you’re not. The first one, I understand. Our society today prides itself on work. It’s a holdover mentality from the previous generation’s “we’re all in this together” identity. We define ourselves by what we do and who we work for. The problem is, it’s lacking passion and any real personal identity. The second one, I don’t understand. And this is coming from someone who has said very similar things in the past. Defining yourself in opposition to something doesn’t define who you are. It’s a nice copout though, an easy way to bury your head in the sand and hope nobody pays attention. 

There’s nothing inherently wrong or misguided with the “we’re all in this together” mentality. It is a crucial part of community development and banding together as one people. It was born out of wartime America, when banding together against a common enemy helped forge a generation’s identity. It truly is a beautiful thing to witness, disparate people coming together for a common purpose. Letting the “we’re all in this together” take over and replace your own individual needs and dreams is a slippery slope though. When that common purpose becomes the whole identity, when passion for individual pursuits fades away and all that’d left is a corporate identity, one that you’ve been given, one that you don’t have any say in. You’ve got to love something, to want something, to show some passion for something. And if that something is given to you by an employer or supervisor, you’re doing something wrong.

Operating solely out of opposition is just as dangerous, and definitely more toxic. When your whole identity is wrapped up in all the things you oppose, all it does is create division and distrust. If you constantly espouse hate and anger, searching for conflict at every turn, then everything is going to sound like an attack. You end up never able to find peace, never able to relax because you’re always anticipating the next attack. Instead, when you find something you love, when you find something you’re passionate about, you end up forging genuine connection. The conflict disappears and is replaced with understanding and support. Not the same “we’re all in this together” kind of thing, but a “this is my thing, that’s your thing, they’re not the same thing, and that’s really cool.”

In college, I thought it was the coolest thing to call myself a “GDI” when I was asked what fraternity I was in. (GDI = g***amned independent) I thought it was funny, and would always follow up with something along the lines of, “I’m not in a fraternity. I’m not a “pay for your friends” kind of guy.” I’m not this, I’m not that. And it carried over to other areas of life too, always leading with the things that I wasn’t. I did that because I didn’t know who I was. And as I got older, I was afraid of finding out because what if I didn’t like it? So I settled for making fun of others who were passionate about anything, and adopting the identity of whatever group I decided to join. In adulthood, that was the church I went to and the job that I had. Losing the job(s) and getting divorced were the catalysts to change. It wasn’t until I found a partner that was fully supportive of whatever I was into, and found a community of people that supported me exploring my own interests that change started to really happen. It took a while, through the support of a loving relationship, a group of friends, and some mentors, I gained the confidence to let me shine through. I made the shift from being anti-everything and letting others dictate my identity, to finding things that I loved, things that I am passionate about, and creating the life that I want.

Social media and the internet have been amazing tools, I’m not going to argue that. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have found the friends that I have, the mentors I’ve been lucky enough to learn from, the coaches that I’m fortunate enough to have guide me through various aspects of life. The flip side is that social media and the internet make it increasingly easy to go through life with extreme apathy. Letting the identities and pursuits of “influencers” guide your own identity, allowing the passions and dreams of the masses take over and dictate what you love and hate. It’s so easy to hide behind the screen and put everyone else down instead of putting in the work to raise yourself up. To echo Yellow (the quote at the top), “Y’all got to want something. Pissing on other people’s passion ’cause you trying to be cool just make you a coward.” Show some passion, be pro stuff, and don’t be afraid to walk your own path.